Dancing With the Stars Week 5

Welcome back!  We are so glad that you are joining us for our Dancing With the Stars recap of week 5.  I am joined by some of the coolest gals I know.  Popular blogger Michelle Bell, fabulous author Tracie Banister, and my five-year-old daughter Gracie. 

None of us saw Sherri as the one leaving the dance floor last week.  That just proves no one is safe, and remember to vote for your favorites or they might be heading home quickly.  Santana was jammin’ last night!  Preach it with that guitar solo, Carlos!  I loved it! 

Buckle up, because it was Latin Night on DWTS, and we are ready to get to it.

Best performance of the week:
Tracie: This was a really tough call.  I had to rewatch William and Cheryl's Argentine Tango, as well as Donald and Peta's, before I could make a decision.  I'm going to give it to William and Cheryl.  Loved the music, loved the choreo, loved the intensity of the performance.  What I enjoyed most about William in this number was how well he alternated between the quick, sharp movements and the slow, langorous ones; it was a very <Cover your eyes, Gracie> sensual dance.  I'm amazed that William was able to pull that off with a hurt ankle.  I want to give William some bonus points for his posture, too.  It's so nice to see a male celeb who doesn't have bunched up shoulders or a swayed back.  William takes full advantage of his height and really inhabits and dominates the space he's in.

Michelle: I really liked quite a few of the performances tonight. Maria and Derek were frisky and fun, with just enough sensuality thrown in. (Come on, they have to be dating!)  Donald and Peta were spicy!  He is following in the lines of the other football players from past seasons and showing he has the talent. Katherine and Mark made it look so simple and they were perfect.   But I say welcome back, William and Cheryl! Hot, Hot, HOT! Unlike the jive, which Cheryl is weak at, she had it going on for tonight's dance and choreographed perfectly for the Argentine Tango. That was my dance of the week.

Jen: This is the FIRST week that I felt William and Cheryl’s dance really showed them both off as a couple, and did not just focus on William’s hotness.  Okay, in all honesty maybe it was the eye of this beholder that saw them in a new light.  As a pair, they sizzled and played off each other so well.  I totally needed a shower after that number!  They were smoldering.

Gracie: I got up and I danced to Peta and Donald’s song, so that means they are the best.  They had moves!  Donald is strong to carry her around so much.  He must lift weights.

This Was Definitely Not Your Dance - Worst Performance:

Tracie: I was incredibly disappointed with Maria and Derek's Salsa.  Maria had been doing so well the last few weeks, but with that Salsa, I felt like she regressed back to her tepid Week 1 performance in the Cha Cha.  She had fantastic music and fantastic choreo from Derek, but she hardly moved her feet!  They were SO sluggish throughout the whole dance.  And she had very little musicality.  She didn't seem to be enjoying the dance at all, which is an essential element when you're doing a PARTY dance.  Derek was clearly aware of how lacking Maria was in the dance because he not only resorted to ripping off his shirt, but kissing her, to try and distract from her failings.  It might have worked on the judges, Derek, but it didn't work on me.

Michelle: We had a three car pileup. Melissa looked clunky and confused, which in turn made Maks seem a step off as well.  Gavin evidently gave up right off the bat, settling for fan votes to hopefully get them through this week. I don't know how Karina is handling that because he really wasn't in the game and it showed.  And, unfortunately, Gladys tried so hard but fell flat for me.  She didn't have any smooth movement going on and, like Melissa, looked clunky.

Jen: Gavin really struggled to get through his Samba.  I give him props though for really putting personality into his groove. I never connected with Melissa’s dance tonight.  I am not sure if she really did either.  I know she was injured last week and I wonder if the fear of getting hurt a second time kept her restrained.

Gracie: That girl (Kym) whose clothes were flying around while she was dancing.  I just really didn’t like watching their dance.  If she would’ve worn pink and not brown, I could have tried to like her dance a little better.

**Mom’s note: apples don’t fall far from the proverbial tree, do they?**

The Tina Sparkle Award for best use of sequins and spandex:

Tracie: Although their wardrobe was pretty subdued, I was a big fan of what William and Cheryl were outfitted in this week.  When you've got a physique like William's, you don't need to gild the lily.  The half-undressed tuxedo look totally worked for William, giving him a strong, masculine presence.   And Cheryl was classy, but sexy, in her glittery, nude-colored gown. 

Michelle: Karina's dress was really festive and fun tonight. I loved it.  But the best dressed goes to Katherine.  She was gorgeous, and truly is one of those lucky ladies that can wear any color.  And I'm sure Gracie was happy to see the pink.

Jen: Can I just say that everything about Peta and Donald’s clothing made me swoon?  That’s how you dress on Latin night!  Serious skin showing on Peta, muscles flexing on Donald, black and red colors popped. Hot, hot, hot! 

Gracie: Oh!  Did you see Chelsie?  She was so beautiful in her dress that made her look like a beautiful bird!  But you know only the boy birds have the pretty colors in real life, and not the girls.  Karina and Chelsie were my favorite ones that dressed up tonight.  They were beautiful!

This just in . . . the wardrobe department hates you!

Tracie: I could not take my eyes off of that pink shirt Maks was wearing last night!  Normally, I like a pale pink shirt on a guy with a tan, but the color and style of Maks' shirt just screamed, "I borrowed this from my girlfriend's closet!  See, it doesn't even fit!"  The short, blouse-y sleeve with the satin band, the sheer fabric, the too-bright shade of pink, and the way it clashed with Maks' Ooompa Loompa-colored skin; it was just a disaster!  I didn't like his white cabana-style loafers either.  Just "ick" all the way around.

Michelle: What in the blue blazes was Kym Johnson wearing?  Why do they keep putting her in clothes that wrap around one side of her body?  She looked like Cher and Tacky had a love child and spit her out.   (PS did you see Jaleel put his hand on Kym's butt and she instantly removed it? Hahaha!!) 

And Derek...yellow doesn't work that well for him.  Luckily he decided the same thing and shed his shirt!

Jen: For some reason when I looked at Kym’s jumpsuit, I thought of the lamp that Ralphie’s dad won in the movie, A Christmas Story.  You know, the “fra-gee-lay” leg lamp?  I was so distracted by the tassel flinging, that I really felt as if I didn’t get to see her moves on the dance floor as much as I would have liked to.

You all know I love Gladys.  I think her outfit was a great style choice.  However, I would’ve loved to have seen her “lit up” in a bright turquoise rather than the dark green that she wore.

Gracie: That boy (Derek) needs to keep his shirt on!  There are, like, children watching!  And that guy (Jaleel) is naked with no shirt on!  That is so weird!

What were the judges' smoking?

Tracie: They were totally drinking the Kool-Aid when they gave Maria straight 9s for that sub-par Salsa.  And Bruno was so ridiculous with his comments to Derek and Maria after the dance, asking them if they wanted to get a room and could he join them?  I did laugh when the camera immediately panned to Maria's father in the audience and he was smiling and clapping enthusiastically as though he thought a threesome sounded like a GREAT! idea. 

Michelle: Ah, Bruno, the sexual harassment was out in full force tonight.  From his dancing for Maks (and Melissa) to his licking his lips over Derek (and Maria), he was in rare form. I do wish they would give Bruno a chance to get out there and dance!

 

Jen: “You were sexy!  In a Disney way!”  Carrie Ann, saying that to Roshon can get you 5-10 in the pokey!

Tom Bergeron's best one-liner:

Tracie: It tickled me when he introduced Chelsie and Roshon's Salsa by saying, "And now dancing from Hollywood and Vine(s)" because the staging did look crazy with all of those vines hanging down.  Chelsie and Rochon are lucky they didn't get twisted up in them when they were trying to emerge from the faux jungle to get to the dance floor.

Michelle: "Tassels have a lot of bounce don't they?"  As Tom eyeballs Maria jumping around backstage over their scores. 

Jen: Tom speaking about Maria, “Tassels have a lot of bounce don’t they?”  Okay, so I am at the end of battling a head cold, my ears are plugged up beyond all reality, and I thought Tom said “castles” rather than “tassels,” yet I realized he probably didn’t say that.  My brain was on a ten second delay and fortunately caught up.  Yowza Tom!  I wonder if the judges and hosts drank from the “sexual harassment” water cooler last night before the show began.

Gracie: Is he ever going to show funny videos on this show?  He just talks too much and should be showing funny films people make!

The "Oh, Brooke!" moment of the week:

Tracie: I'm in agreement with Michelle on this one.  "Maks, if you were a street performer, what would you do?"  I think she just pulled that one out of thin air.  Maks didn't even try to hide his incredulity over the stupidity of the question.  I don't think he really answered it either and who can blame him?  

Michelle: "Maks, if you were a street performer, what would you do?"  Oy, Brooke! The looks you get are priceless.  And, of course, she has to ask Gladys how much it would mean to her to make it through to next week when they do the special Motown episode.  Poor Gladys does get the brunt of Brooke's dumb comments.

I'm sure the producers were feeding it to her when she gave the lecherous smile and asked Maria and Derek, "That kiss looked well rehearsed.  Was it?" 

Jen: Brooke speaking to Gavin after his performance, “What was the story of your dance?”  Brooke, remember there was this boat?  And Gavin paddled it to shore where he found the gorgeous island girl, Karina, waiting on him?  And then they danced like a shipwrecked dude and gorgeous gal would, remember? 

Gracie: I bet when Brooke goes home at night, she misses her dogs and hugs them.

**Mom’s note:???**

Time to hang up your dancing shoes:
Tracie: If I keep saying "Maks and Melissa," I have to be right at some point, don't I?  I just really feel like she's the weakest of the pack right now.  I think if she ends up in the Bottom 2 and has to participate in the dreaded "Dance Duel," she's toast.  The judges have clearly shown that they're not buying what she's selling and the DD is in place so that they can push their pets through.  If the judges have to choose between Melissa and Gavin (another dancer they don't seem overly fond of), it'll be interesting to see which way they go.  I am just praying that I don't see Gladys in the B2 this week because I really want her and cutie pie Tristan to be around for Motown Night next Monday. <crossing fingers>

Michelle: Melissa really tries so hard, but she was just not strong out there tonight.  I don't know why Maks doesn't get tougher with her like he normally would.  Maybe he is scared of the tears?  But I predict a bottom two for Melissa and Maks.

I want to like Gavin, I really do. I think most of the time he is charming and, like Melissa, he really is trying out there.  But tonight when he said in practice that he was just going to have to depend on the fans to vote for him, it rubbed me the wrong way.  He wasn't even trying and it showed.  The dance was sloppy and the scores reflected it. I see him back in the bottom two as well.

(I am not good with this prediction of who needs to go.  I never would have imagined that Sherri and Val would get the boot so soon!)

Jen: Oh Gavin, could this be the week?  I think you have really improved over the weeks, and know that you have given it your all.  Have your nine lives come to a halt? 

I think Melissa has also come a long way, and think this could be when we part ways.

Oh, who am I kidding??  It’s always a shocker and I am clueless who might be singing that swan song!

Gracie: I think it’s sad that someone has to go home, but it better not be anyone I liked this time.  If they wore pink, they should be allowed to stay and dance no matter what!

See you all next Week!

XOXO

Tracie, Michelle, Jen & Gracie